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University of Waterloo -- Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
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Tuesday, April 1, 1997

Troll will press his suit

Simon the Troll said yesterday he is filing a class action suit against the university to obtain "long-overdue justice" for non-human and noncorporeal inhabitants of the campus, none of whom were on the 1996 list of people paid more than $100,000.

Simon says: "If there are enough hundred-thousand-dollar deans and directors to fill out a Blue Jays opening day lineup -- not that any of them can bat his own weight -- there ought to be a troll or two making that kind of money. And what about Porcellino the boar? What about Pounce de Lion? What about Sushi, the Gazette's aquatic mascot, for kalbfleisch's sake?"

The troll historian said he wasn't too concerned about the salaries of the campus's most numerous inhabitants, namely squirrels and ducks. "You pay peanuts, those are the species you get," he pointed out. Rather, he said, he's thinking mostly about himself. "Living under a bridge doesn't bother me so much, but doing it for a miserable five-figure salary, now that's more than anybody should have to endure."

I'll be following this story with considerable interest; look for an update not later than, oh, next April 1.

Grad students hear about fees

Tuition fees are going up for all students this year, but graduate students face a bigger change than just a percentage increase. The fee calculation will shift from the present system of a "program fee" and a "term fee" to a single fee payable every term.

At least, that's the plan; it won't be official until it's approved by the board of governors, which has changes to both graduate and undergraduate fees on the agenda for its meeting this afternoon.

Here's a notice from the graduate studies office:

During the month of April, the Dean of Graduate Studies will be holding several information sessions on the changes to the 1997-98 Graduate Studies Tuition fee structure. Current graduate students and graduate studies administrators are invited to any of the following sessions: The revised fee structure eliminates the program/term distinction for all graduate programs (subject to Board of Governors approval). Beginning 1996-97, the program/term distinction was eliminated for international graduate students. Students seeking a degree on a full-time basis will be assessed the tuition fee for each registered term. Part-time students seeking a degree or enrolled on a non-degree basis will be assessed one-half the full-time rate for each registered term.

Students enrolled in 1996-97 will be given a one-time opportunity to choose between the 1996-97 fee structure and the revised 1997-98 structure. The choice cannot be reversed and must be made by the time of registration for the Spring term 1997 (May 30, 1997).

About that board meeting

The board of governors meeting is scheduled to begin at 2:30 this afternoon in Needles Hall room 3001. Among the agenda items: The meeting is to end with a confidential session, in which more business from the board's building and properties committee -- more in addition to the north campus project, that is -- will be on the agenda.

And more on graduate students

The new Graduate Student Council, created to represent all UW graduate students, will hold its first meeting April 9, the Graduate Student Association has announced. The old structure of the GSA, with a large board of directors, was replaced with a new two-body system as the GSA overhauled its constitution at its annual general meeting last week.

Says Daniel Piche, vice-president (communications) of the GSA: "The old By-Laws and Standing motions were repealed and a new set of By-Laws, Standing Rules and Constitution were enacted. The new system consists of two main bodies: the Board of Directors, consisting of 10 members and the Graduate Student Council, consisting of one representative from each department with a graduate program, 20 at-large seats to allow other members to join, and the directors."

The plan is that the board will deal exclusively with "the corporate aspect of the GSA," he said. "The Council will be the social and political body of the GSA and be its voice on such matters." Its first meeting will be held April 9 at 6 p.m. in Needles Hall room 3004. "All interested graduate students" are invited.

Other April fish to fry

Students who have or will have an academic career and want to put together a CV (Curriculum Vitae) and cover letter are invited to a critiquing session tomorrow (April 2) at 4:30 p.m. in the Career Resource Centre, Needles Hall room 1115. The session will be limited to 10 people. If you are interested, you can your name to the sign-up list posted on bulletin board #18 outside the Career Resource Centre.

The audio-visual centre is looking for students to work as projectionists and TV camera operators in the spring and fall terms. Hours are flexible and training is provided; preference will be given to students who have four terms still ahead of them. Inquiries aren't accepted by phone -- only in person, at the main A-V office, Engineering II room 1309.

The strike at the University of Windsor is over, as plant operations and food service staff went back to work last night, ending 41 days of conflict and garbage. The faculty and librarians' strike at York University continues. "Our Primary Concern is for Our Students," York officials say in a Web page message. "The University is open. The parties continue to meet." Students' residence accommodation has been extended, without extra cost, through the Victoria Day weekend.

Yesterday was the last day of existence for CA*net Networking Inc., which has provided computer communication among universities and other computer sites across Canada since 1990. The non-profit agency has turned over operation of its computing network to Bell Advanced Communications ("no, it's not an April Fool's joke", a farewell message yesterday said).


April 1, 1985: The new parking lot B off Phillip Street opens for business, replacing a lot that's to become the site of the Davis Centre. It's so muddy that authorities give everyone who parks there a one-month refund of their fee.

Editor of the Daily Bulletin: Chris Redmond
Information and Public Affairs, University of Waterloo
credmond@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca -- (519) 888-4567 ext. 3004
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